You Can Be Independent and Still Long for Connection

It’s a message many of us need to hear:

You can be strong, capable, independent - and still long for closeness, intimacy, and emotional support.

In fact, this is incredibly common, especially if you grew up in an environment where needing others didn’t feel safe, or where emotional needs were minimized, ignored, or shamed.

Maybe you learned early on to take care of yourself, to be “the responsible one,” or to rely only on your own strength. That kind of resilience is admirable; but it can also come with emotional costs.

You might find yourself saying:

• “I’m fine on my own.”

• “I don’t need anyone.”

• “People always let me down.”

But deep down, you might still feel the ache for deeper connection - for someone to see you, understand you, and show up for you emotionally.

This is not a flaw.
It’s not a weakness.
It’s a very human need.

In therapy, I often support people who are fiercely independent on the outside… and quietly carrying loneliness, fear of vulnerability, or old wounds related to abandonment and rejection on the inside.

Wanting connection doesn’t make you weak.
Avoiding closeness doesn’t make you broken.
It just means your nervous system is trying to protect you; based on the past.

The good news?
You can rewire that.
With the right support, it’s possible to feel safer in relationships. To stay open, even when it feels risky. To ask for help, and actually receive it without guilt or fear.

You don’t have to choose between being strong and being loved.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you.
I’m a counsellor and I help people explore these patterns and build more secure, authentic connections - with others and with themselves.

I’m currently accepting new clients. Feel free to message me if you’re curious about starting therapy, even if you’re not sure where to begin.